Black Cat Drabbles of Doom: Part II
by Moggetchan
Summary: The Drabbles continue! Chapter Six: There was something embaressing coming out of Rinslet's pants, and she was the last one to find out...
1. Fruit or Vegetable?

A/N: Look, a whole new part! Hmmm, smell the freshness of it all.

Disclaimer: Look, I get to come up with fifty (less, seeing as how I forget them sometimes…) new, witty, original or otherwise amusing disclaimers. But as for now, I got nothing. Oh, yeah, I don't own _Black Cat_.

Chapter One: Fruit or Vegetable?

Sven and Eve stared dejectedly at their table. On it were two tomatoes, a thing of mayonnaise, half a loaf of bread and some salt and pepper.

"'Morning, Eve! 'Morning, Sven!" Train yawned as he came into the room, stretching. Neither bothered to correct him on the correct time of day – the evening – because it wasn't like he cared. "Why are you two just staring at the table like that?" he added, once he had finished stretching.

"This is all the food we have left, and we can't afford to buy anything else," said Sven tonelessly. "And even I don't know what kind of meal you're supposed to make with two tomatoes, a thing of mayo and half a loaf of bread."

"You forgot the salt and pepper," piped up Eve.

"And salt and pepper," Sven added grudgingly.

"Well, you make tomatoes sandwiches, of course!" said Train happily, and he grabbed one of the tomatoes and began slicing it.

"Tomatoes sandwiches?" questioned Sven.

"Sure," said Train, "you just take slices of tomatoes and put them between two pieces of bread, each of which has some mayonnaise spread all nice on, and some salt and pepper sprinkled evenly over that. They're very good!" He didn't add that tomato sandwiches were about all the man that killed his parents and taught him to kill knew how to make.

"But Train," Sven protested, "Eve is a growing child who needs more nutrients than just bread and tomatoes."

"And mayonnaise and salt and pepper," Train pointed out.

"And mayonnaise, salt and pepper," Sven repeated with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, Sven," Train said haughtily, spreading mayonnaise over bread, "It's not like this is all she'll be eating, seeing how this is only one meal. Secondly, she'll be getting a grain, a fruit, a veggy and whatever mayonnaise is. Dairy, maybe?"

"I have no idea what mayo is," Sven growled, "And how is she getting a fruit _and_ a veggy?"

"Well," replied Train, "no one seems to be able to decide whether or not tomatoes are fruits or vegetables, so we can just say she got both!" He finished making his sandwich and took a hearty bite out of it.

"We can?" asked Sven befuddled.

Train nodded, his mouth full of tomato, bread, mayonnaise, salt and pepper.

"No, you can't!" exclaimed Eve, "That's retarded, Train!"

But Train just grinned and walked away. It's not like he cared, anyway.

A/N: Hmmm. How's that for the first chapter? Train's mentor guy doesn't seem like the type to cook, does he? I wanted to have some nice, innocent humor for the first chapter. Because pretty soon, we'll probably end up going back to that humor that makes you go, "shouldn't this story be rated 'M????'" Oh, well. And I didn't mean that Train didn't care about Eve getting all her nutrients, just that he didn't care what other people said about it.


	2. Men are like Bras?

A/N: Summer's almost over…school starts Monday, DAMNIT!

Disclaimer: I don't own _Black Cat_. Or any of its characters, logos or other affiliates. The opinions expressed here are my own, and not necessarily those of this website or any of _its_ affiliates, or the creator of the book and any of _his_ affiliates or assistants. I do, however, own bras.

Chapter Two: Men are like Bras?

They sat around the table, playing poker. Sven, Train, Eve, Rinslet and Jenos. It was growing late, and some of them were growing drunk and broke.

There was actually a direct relation between the "growing drunk and broke." The more broke they were getting, the farther into that blissful state of "drunk" they were getting. Rinslet was perhaps the farthest along, because she was surprisingly very bad at poker.

After Sven – who was surprisingly good at poker – won yet another hand – eyes glinting with prospect of finally paying off some debt - Rinslet threw her cards in the air, and slumped forward. They all stared at her, expecting some kind of outburst, yet they still all jumped up when she suddenly jumped up.

"EVE!" she said loudly, "I have something very important to tell you!"

"Yes?" asked Eve with a slight crinkle of her nose at the strong smell of whisky coming off Rinslet's breath.

"WELL, you should know that men are like bras!"

Everyone stared at her with that "Oh my GOD, what the fuck?" look on their face.

"Care to…elaborate?" asked Eve, perhaps most dumbfounded of all.

"Well, for me, it's really hard to find the right one! Some are too big around the middle, others are to long."

"Men or bras?" asked Sven, finding it all a bit funny.

"BOTH, YOU IDIOT!" shouted Rinslet, "That's what I'm saying! Men are like bras. Like how they never give you the right support when you need it. And the beautiful ones are useless and the useful ones are butt-ugly."

"Wow," said Jenos, "Women have compared me too a lot of things, mostly animals with the reputation of being dirty, but never a bra."

"BUT EVE!" Rinslet continued as if she hadn't heard Jenos – which was probably the truth of the matter, "You shouldn't give up hope! Sometimes, there's one right in the back, cute, supportive and just the right size where it counts. Flexible, not nasty under-wire, no itchy places, doesn't come unsnapped at the worst moment possible, doesn't go around showing itself at all the wrong times. Yesh, Eve, men are like bras."

Rinslet sat down, looking quite proud of herself for passing down this knowledge to the next generation of women.

"Anything else Eve should know about men?" Train asked, wanting to hear more of Rinselt drunk ramblings.

Rins looked quite serious as she pondered the question, which made it all the more funnier when she said, "Yeah. Men are also like Wal-mart, their pants are always half-off. And they're usually trying to get you into theirs."

A/N: I don't think I have any male readers now…I hate it when you're out in public and your bra itches, or your strap falls down, or like what happened to me in school one day, it comes unsnapped. So much fun, let me tell you.

Oh, I tried to put some links to websites on my last chapter, but mahoakitti informed me that they didn't show up, so you can go to my profile to check them out!

No more penguins. We're moving onto to ferrets for reviewers. Because ferrets are the best!

mahoakitti: First review! XD Thanks! And you're welcome! (for faving "Sunday Morning")

Crackerfang: Thanks! The internet scares me, and ours is slow anyway, so I just wait for the books…XD

Musal: Thanks:3 Zagine, that's his name! Thanks…my friend was borrowing the book at the time, and I had forgotten his name…

SpaceJunk: Thanks. X3

CrypticAngel: Thankee, thankee!

Immortalie: Thanks. And I was going to do another crossover, but it was taking so long. Next time maybe. Or the time after that. But you will get one, don't worry. (And it will be something you're totally not expecting:D)

Phoenix Takaramono: XD

Serenity Maxwell: It's okay! It took me so long to get this up! XD Thanks!

ChocoboBebop: If I feel myself start to crack I'll go eat a tomato sandwhich! They are so yummy:9


	3. The Beast Within?

A/N: There's gonna be a long one at the bottom….

Disclaimer: Totally doesn't own any of it. And if you haven't read volume ten, then this won't make any sense…:P

Chapter Three: The Beast Within

It was the evening of the day of the morning that Train had been shot by Creed in a church by a bullet called Lucifer.

A bullet that just happened to contain the nanomachines that would reform the victims DNA to reveal THE BEAST WITHIN!

"How can you stay so calm?!" demanded Rinslet as they all clustered around Train.

"I dunno," replied Train with a shrug as he sat at the edge of the bed, "wouldn't do any good to get all worked up about it."

"You're just going to sit there and wait to turn into a monster?" Rins retorted, and Eve flinched.

"Well, it's been five hours and nothing has happened," said Sven, almost hopefully, "Maybe he'll just stay this way."

"There's really nothing we can do anyway," said Train, rising with a small laugh.

"Where are you going?" asked Sven.

"To the john!" replied Train with his trademark idiot grin.

As he turned to go relieve himself, Rinslet noticed something. "WHOA! Wait! Train!" she called out.

He turned with a "huh" and puzzled look, and Rins walked up next to him, compared heights and then blurted out in disbelief, "You're short. I mean, have you gotten shorter?"

Train looked puzzled. "Shorter?!" he mused. "Can't be!" Then he noticed that his shirt sleeves, which had fit perfectly this morning, were hanging past his hands.

Suddenly, with a gasp, he fell to all to his hands and knees. "TRAIN!" Rins and Eve screamed as Train moaned on the floor. "Here…it comes…" he said between clinched teeth.

"What? Train!" Sven shouted.

It's getting hot in here, Eve thought worriedly, it's just like back at the castle…I can feel the nanomachines resonate!

All Train could do was make small popping noises as Rinslet realized…."He's shrinking!"

"TRAAAIN!" shouted Sven in desperation.

A cloud of smoke enveloped Train. They could hear his moan continue and then, out of nowhere, it stopped. The smoke cleared.

"What the?" Rinslet was finally able to say after several minutes of silence.

There, in the spot Train had fallen so pained only moments before was…THE WHITE CAT! O-M-G!

A/N: Volume ten made me laugh so hard. I love Jenos!

I'M SO SORRY THAT IT'S TAKEN FOREVER!!!  I got a review that said "oh, I love you cause you actually update" and I realized "oh, crap, I haven't updated in a long time." And then it still took me a long time to update. Sorry! '

Ferrets for Reviewers:

Crackerfang: NO! YOU CAN'T EAT THE FERRET! You're getting rhino from now on!

Musal: Thanks! I have the strap problem all the time. The one bra I have that isn't a sports bra has straps that are too long so they're always falling down. It sucks!

mahoakitti: Thanks. It was actually a Michael Jackson joke at first…

Phoenix Takaramono: Yes, Train would be an itchy bra! Lmao. But we like Jenos with his pants half off! XD

CrypticAngel: He wasn't very understanding. I hope you dumped your water over HIS head!

SpaceJunk: Yeah, okay, so I have at least ONE male reader. Big deal:P

Serenity Maxwell: Thanks!

Immortali: Ferrets kick squirrel ass. And they should scare you! XD Have you seen that diet mountain dew commercial?

Kurumi-chan: Thanks!

Mei-chan: 100 Agree!  Thanks!

requim17: XD It's okay…I left my story in the dust for a while, too. XD

Nekoyasha16: haha, thanks! Sorry it took so long! '

CocoLime: Thanks! Oo That would be weird…XD

Wooden Fancy Pants: Thanks! 


	4. Cotton Candy

A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long. Sob.

Disclaimer: Geeze, I've almost forgotten how to do these. I don't own it. Any of it. Even the final line wasn't created by me. How pathetic.

Chapter Four: Cotton Candy?

Sven and Eve where in the bathroom.

While that sounds rather unlikely and a bit illegal, it was actually quite innocent. Eve was carefully trimming Sven's hair.

It was quite, except for the steady "chking" of Eve's fingers-turned-scissors and the quite little tune Sven was humming under his breath.

"All done," Eve said. She unwrapped the towel she had around Sven's neck and shook it out over the tub. Gazing at all the little green pieces coloring the white porcelain, Eve turned to Sven and said, "Hey, Sven? You're hair kiiiinda looks like cotton candy and I kiiinda wanna eat it."

A/N: That's so short I'm wondering if its worth posting. Again, sorry that it's been almost five months. (gah) I feel really bad. Hopefully I'll be better at updating. But school is so crazy I'm not going to guarantee anything. Sorry!!


	5. A Little Bit of Romance

A/N: It's ROMANCE, biiiiiiiitch. :D Valentine's inspired, maybe? I just sorta made up the setting, btw. No idea when this could have happened in the series.

Disclaimer: I would like to thank my "lover" for all the tips. lmao. And I don't own BC, either. Otherwise I would be rich, I think. Not poor. Like I am.

Chapter Five: A Little Bit of Love

Rinslet sat on the couch across from Jenos. They were in a posh hotel room, waiting for word from Sepheria of their next move.

Putting her knees together and pulling her jacket tighter across her, Rinslet wondered why she was suddenly so uncomfortable in her usual short skirt/tank top outfit. She loved the looks from men she got when she wore it, but for some reason, sitting across from Jenos, she felt very self-conscious.

Jenos watched her, amused, as she shifted. He was also feeling a bit too self-aware. Talking to women was something that normally came with ease for Jenos. Sure, they usually never responded the way he would have liked, but he never had any problem being around him. But now the silence was stretching a bit too long and was too tense to be friendly.

Just when they both began to seriously wonder what to do, there was a polite rap at the door and an equally polite voice called out, "Room service!" Jenos stood too quickly and walked hurriedly to the door, glad for the chance to turn his back on the beautiful thief.

Accepting the tray, Jenos returned to the sitting area with a platter of tea. Setting it on the coffee table in front of the couch, he turned to Rinslet.

"Would you care for some?" he asked in a strained tone.

"Um…sure," murmured Rinslet, blushing and looking down. She realized that they probably looked like two teenagers on their first date, and began mentally berating herself. _Calm down, Rins,_ she thought, _there's nothing innuendo about pouring me a cup of boiling water, so stop blushing like some over-eager adolescent. Stop noting the fact that Jenos is leaning over you to reach the sugar on the other side of the tray, and that he smells very nice, and that from this angle you get a very nice view down his shirt at what looks like a very nice set of abs. And stop noticing that his hair looks very sexy when hanging over his face like that, or that his hands look like they'd feel very nice on my…_

Before Rinslet could finish that last though, Jenos hand brushed against her knee on accident. She started back to reality and looked up, finding Jenos's face only about an inch from hers.

That moment stretched out for what seemed to be an eternity. When they looked back on it, neither of them was sure who started it, but they did know that it was really only a few seconds before their lips were joined in a tender kiss.

Sinking on the couch next to her, Jenos put one hand around Rinslet's waist and pulled her in closer - the other hand cradled her neck. Rinslet's nimble hands found themselves running seductively through Jenos's thick hair.

Breaking off the kiss, Jenos slid his jaw slowly against Rinslet's until he reached her ear. He began nibbling gently at the top, slowly working his way down to the lobe, murmuring incoherently the whole way. Rinslet's low moan of longing made him smile: it was just the reaction he had been hoping for.

Rinslet in return climbed into Jenos's lamp, kissing him passionately as she unbuttoned his shirt. His abs were very nice.

Jenos flipped Rinslet over, kissing her the best he knew how, while slowly skimming one finger over her inner-thigh, barely touching the skin.

Just at that moment, Jenos's cell phone rang, with Sepheria's name on the caller id. But the two soon-to-be lovers were too lost in each other to hear.

It didn't take long for Rinslet to discover that Jenos's hands _did_ feel very nice there…

A/N: M rating much? Sorry. But I had a weird desire to write a romance. This is the first time. I hope it's not to bad… 


	6. Something Embaressing in Your Pants

A/N: Lord Almighty, you have no idea how much I apologize for taking three months and never replying to reviews

**A/N: Lord Almighty, you have no idea how much I apologize for taking three months and never replying to reviews…which I promised myself I would do. So I WILL this chapter. Because I put it in writing, m'kay?! -.- **

**Disclaimer: Je ne…(what French for "own" is)…pas **_**Un Chat Noir **_**ou "Dans Tu"…even though that's literally "In You" I think it's close enough for jazz…**

Chapter Six: There's Something Embarrassing Coming out of Your Pants

Rinslet woke up with a start at five a.m. when her cell phone began playing "Inside of You" by Hoobastank at a rather obnoxious volume: it was the ring tone she had set for Jenos.

_Not to be forward, miss,  
But I think I'd kill myself  
If I never knew...  
What do I have to do  
To get inside of you?_

Without even rolling over or opening her eyes, Rinslet moved her hand blindly along her nightstand until she found her phone. "'Lo?" she mumbled, swallowing and trying to get that disgusting morning taste out of her mouth.

"Where the hell are you?" Jenos demanded, sounding very contrary to his normal cheerful self.

"In bed," Rinslet replied drowsily, so it sounded it more like, "Ih beh."

"Well, you were supposed to be _here_ an HOUR ago. So if you don't get _here_ NOW, I will come into your bed and do something nasty with wires to you," Jenos yelled crossly, being of the opinion that if he could get up early enough then so could anyone else. Jenos did not like the mornings.

"Oh, shit!" Rinslet screamed, realizing belatedly that she forgot to set her alarm the night before. "I will be there so quick that you'll be amazed!"

"You sure as hell better be," Jenos muttered darkly, hanging up.

Rinslet regretted the fact that she wouldn't have to take a shower or put on her make-up properly, she'd just have to do that on the train. She didn't even take the time to try and throw an outfit together.

Instead, she just threw on the jeans and blouse she had worn yesterday, hoping that they were as clean as she remembered them to be.

She grabbed a bagel from the kitchen and ate it in bites larger than recommended while sprinting full speed down the stairs.

Despite the early hour, people were already up and bustling about, trying to get some early morning errands out of the way, or beginning a long commute to work. Some of these people turned to look at Rinslet as she ran by, then saw something that made their eyes go wide.

"MISS!" many of them called out, hoping to catch her attention. "MISS, THERE'S SOMETHING EMBARESSING COMING OUT OF YOUR PANTS!"

But, alas, Rinslet did not take any notice of them. In her haste to get dressed, she did not realize that when she had undressed the night before, she had taken her panties off with her pants and left them there when she changed. Soooo, when she dressed herself the next morning, the underwear were still there. Only, they had worked their way down her leg and were now dragging along behind her.

When Rinslet reached Jenos, panting from her run from the train to her destination, he looked at her a smiled. His morning seemed brighter all of a sudden. So did the morning of the dozen various Chronos cronies that were accompanying him.

"Wow, Rinselt." Jenos said sweetly, "Did you really come all the way here like that?"

"What? Why are asking that? Did my lipstick smear? Is my eyeliner crooked? Is this shirt dirty after all? Jenos, WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!" the vain thief questioned, growing more and more frantic.

"Oh, there's just something embarrassing coming out of your pants," Jenos paused, and the men snickered, "And I would like to know what you did not wear that adorable kitty thong the other night." Jenos paused again, smiling evilly, while the men around him dissolved in hearty guffaws.

Jenos's happy moment was short lived. Fists to the face usually have that effect.

**A/N: Well, my friend who was stationed in Korea just walked through the door, so I'm motoring, and not having the extensive author's note that I had originally planned…But I will say this…THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE, OKAY?! DAMNIT! **


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